Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Day 6

Well... I made it through day 5 ~ and what a test that turned out to be.
I was set to fly out of Los Angeles on Sunday night at 11:30pm. I arrived at the aircraft at around 11pm and was prepared and ready to go before our departure time. Well... 11:30 came and went with no sign of the client. 12:30, 1;30, ETC... The client did not arrive until 5:00am. At which point, I was completely beside myself with exhaustion. Not to mention, during this waiting around time... The ex-boyfriend begins text messaging me. This is the guy ~ who two and a half years ago, completely broke my heart ... leaving me to start up the nasty habit of smoking again, in addition to quitting my job and moving 300 miles away from him and our house. TWO AND A HALF YEARS! Seriously? He tells me he wants to see me... he may show up on my doorstep, he has changed... etc, etc, etc. WTF?!
Suprisingly, all of that... the random act of stupidity by my overly-inflated-ego-maniac of an ex-boyfriend...didn't make me want to smoke. I felt pretty good actually. Confident in knowing that I have truly moved on. I have created a pretty good life for myself and I would never consider changing any of that. Not that he's asking ~ but, why would he want to see me after all this time?! And more importantly, what is he THINKING? That I've been sitting in wait, pining for him these last two years? It felt so damn good to know that I've moved on. That he doesn't affect me anymore... AT ALL...not even enough to want a smoke! :) That's huge!
Sooo... cut to Las Vegas. We arrived at our hotel room at about 6:30am and I tried and tried and tried to get some sleep. I was beyond tired. But, my phone was ringing off the hook and when that finally stopped...the hotel's fire alarm went off for about ten minutes. I ended up getting up and going down for toast and coffee, then I headed for the pool.
I spent about 4 hours by the pool, drinking pina colada's while literally surrounded by smokers. The thought crossed my mind that if I really wanted to, I could smoke. Who would know? I was alone, at Hooters Hotel/Casino (for chrissakes), drinking pina coladas poolside. NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW! I looked at the guys pack who was lounging next to me and I seriously thought about it...but, I decided that I didn't REALLY want one. I surveyed the pool area and noticed how tacky all of the smoking girls looked (and not delightfully tacky ;) and I just decided that I didn't need it! Enough damage was being done to my skin simply by being poolside in 104 degree heat!
Anyway... I flew out of vegas on a redeye flight last night and I am now in Jersey... waiting for the jet to come in from Italy. Not sure what tomorrow brings ~ but, today brought SMOKE FREE DAY NUMBER 6!!! Woo-Hoo!
xo

3 comments:

maggie said...

You are just awesome, and congrats on another day!

jennsabo33 said...

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I know you can do it because you are such a strong independant women and you can do anything. I know how hard it is, but it gets easier each day. I miss you so much and together we will remain smoke free!! Mia says hi auntie and she is proud of you too (chessy huh?)
I love you !!

rock said...

Hi Lisa! Good job with the quit! We quit the same day, it's day 7, yippee!!! My poisonious addiction was skoal, chewing tobacco. So glad to be over it. Have always kept in shape, lifting weights, running, eating descent, never really admitted the tobacco was so bad for a body.

Don't think I know you...just saw your blog when reading another and noticed our quit dates were the same. Email me hershak@michigan.gov if you want to hear more of my journey. Ken