8 Weeks

Hoooray...
I am very pleased that I am still smoke free... how ever... this weight gain thing is getting to me. Im sure Ive gained around 5 pounds... not much ~ but just enough to see/feel the difference in my clothes. I cant stand it.
I am VERY sensitive about this matter. It pisses me off because, I TOTALLY watch what I eat. I work out daily. I just started a 2 week cleanse, etc.. etc... etc...
I am trying to do all of the right things for my body and my body is not thanking me for it AT ALL. Not to mention, the cleanse has lead to a teenage flashback of adult-acne :( I feel disgusting.
So, I m pissed off.
I am currently ignoring the BF... who said to me "Baby... did you join the gym to get rid of the smoker-weight?" And then proceeded to not understand why that pissed me off. His reasoning "You're the one who said you gained weight..."
Sure I bitched about it a time or two over the last week or so... but, that does not give you the freedom to join in. It's the same principle as calling my mom a bitch.... I could do it ~ but you cant. She's MY moma. I can complain about her if I want. But, the minute you join in... I will defend her.
So.... like my moma taught me oh so long ago... if you have nothing nice to say... say nothing at all... seriously.

437 Cigarettes Not Smoked!

I read a pretty interesting article in one of my fitness magazines the other day. It was an attempt at encouraging women to stop smoking. My first thought was... why would THIS article be in THIS magazine? What woman is into her health so much so, that she purchases or subscribes to a fitness magazine, and yet smokes?

Hmmm ~ the embarrassed girl raising her hand in the back of the room is me.

I have always taken really good care of my body. I have been cautious of my eating. I have excersised regularly most of my life. I lift weights, spin, dabble in pilates and yoga. I am (until this recent job of mine) in the gym at least 4-5 days a week.
And being a half-a-pack-a-day smoker ~ I felt like such a hypocrite! I can recall circling the parking lot of my gym, so that I could finish my smoke. I also remember feeling really self conscious that others next to me could smell the smoke, nicotine and other disgusting toxins seeping from my skin along with my sweat. How thankful I am that I do not have to feel that shame any longer.

Sooo, onto the article...
*Did you know that women who light up lose an average of 15 years of life? So, if ones life expectancy is 75years ~ I would only make it to around 60? Yikes.
*Women run more than twice the risk of dying from lung cancer, compared with men.
*We all know that women who are pregnant and smoke put their unborn child at risk for low birth rate, pre-term birth, and sudden infant death syndrome. But, even more interesting ~ ladies... we need to be careful who we decide to procreate with... studies show that potential fathers may jeopardize the health of their future children every time they take a drag. A study in mice found that tobacco smoke could mutate genes in sperm cells, putting the offspring at risk for genetic disease.

So why do some, otherwise health-driven women, continue puffing away?
Two main reasons were given by FITNESS magazine... And, personally, I side with reason number one.

FIRST ~ Meal replacement. Nicotine is an appetite supressant. Scientifically, it has been proven that nicotine decreases ones craving/consumption of sweets/carbs. And women fear that if they quit smoking they will gain weight. Afterall, the tabacco industry has capatalized on this fact as far back as the 1920's using ad's to sell the message that smoking will keep you thin.


Lucky Strike Green: "AVOID THAT FUTURE SHADOW by refraining from overindulgence, if you would maintain the modern figure of fashion. We do not represent that smoking Lucky Strike cigarettes will bring modern figures or cause the reduction of flesh. We do declare that when tempted to do yourself too well, if you will "Reach for a Lucky" instead, you will thus avoid over-indulgence in things that cause excess weight and, by avoiding over-indulgence, maintain a modern, graceful form."
1933.


SECOND ~Girls and women are more likely to become addicted and remain dependant longer than men. WHY? Psychological factors, such as feeling a sense of comfort or relaxation may reinforce the smoking behavior in women. We are, afterall, emotional beings. But, I am not certain that this differs much from men. (I think they are just better at hiding it)


The good news is that WE CAN DO IT!!!! I am certain that I have gained a few pounds. And, I have noticed that my sweet tooth is a little harder to resist (although it's ALWAYS been there). But what's a few pounds when I get to enjoy...
*no coughing
*better breath
*yummy smelling hair
*cleaner lungs
*healthier heart
*higher oxygenation in my blood ='s better muscle building
*whiter teeth
*sparing my future children
*being a positive role model to my neices ad nephew
*becoming an inspiration to others who want to quit
*decreasing my risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, etc, etc. etc....

Sooooo baby's got back.... and it's all good :)

6 weeks!!!!!

Wow... 6 weeks... thats pretty amazing to me ~ it sure doesn't feel like that long ago that I smoked that final cigarette on my balcony. I am doing quite well with my quit. Sure, I think about a cigarette now and then. But, It's nothing I cant look passed. I am a NON-SMOKER now ... and saying that feels way to incredible to cave into some passing thought about a ciggy.

I arrived in Luton at about 1pm today after traveling all night. I came straight to my room and crashed, HARD. I slept for a good seven hours. Then I did a great little in-room-workout, nogged on some fruit, and tried (in vain) to find something worthwhile to veg out on the telly with. Brittish TV sucks. I have flipped past McGyver, Deep Space Nine, Muder She Wrote, and of course, the BBC. UGH! I have settled on a documentary (it apears) where two elementary school girls are currently beating the crap out of each other on the playground ~ fantastic!

My passenger was a very sweet man ~ guess he only plays a jerk on tv. I was "Lisa Darling" (insert Brittish accent) and he was kind, appreciative, and polite.

I was SUPER jazzed to find out that Saturday I will be flying into Florence, Italy for the night. It will be a quick trip, as we fly out the following day at noon ~ but I GET TO HAVE DINNER IN FLORENCE ON SATURDAY NIGHT :) Awesome! Italy has always been my dream destination... so I am super stoked! WOO HOO!

Ciao!
xo

40 Days and Counting

I just got into Atlanta, Georgia. Im feeling blue. I haven't seen my family in a couple of months (I realize that's not long for most people) But, I am really close with my mom, dad, brother, cousins, and especially my neices and nephew. My babies are EVERYTHING to me and I miss them so much right now that it hurts. Sounds silly, I know. It's a culmination of my heart swelling love for them and being on the road...(alone), and not having seen them since August.
Ill be home for Thanksgiving... I am spending the week :) Gotta get my fill.
Here they are... they are my inspiration for SOOO much and most definitely for quitting smoking...

CHEYENNE AND HAILIE


JACOB Having fun with the iphoto :)

Anyway... tomorrow I head out to England. Taking a certain judge from American Idol back to his home ;)

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of flying "Ms.Jackson (if your nasty)" And she was VERY sweet... and BEAUTIFUL ~ the girls gotta be 40+ and looks younger than me.... I want her estheticians number....

But, thanks to qutting smoking ~ I will be saving my skin and preventing those nasty little wrinkles that have begun to rear their ugly little heads...

Ok.... Writing is so cathartic... I feel better already.
Going to bed now
Cheers

Please Read This...

I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks. This man was 2 years younger than me when he died of lung cancer after only having been diagnosed 9 weeks earlier. The images are frightening, I know.
I cry for him, his family, his children,
For myself, I shed tears of thankfulness that I have put an end to this habit. That perhaps I have sparred my own life.




http://whyquit.com/whyquit/BryanLeeCurtis.html

Welp... I am still here. I hate the hurry up and wait game. I packed up my things on Sunday night, because I went on call at Midnight. I have since been sitting and waiting. Well ~ I've left the house to excersise, do laundry, hit Target for last minute items... but, other than that, I have been laying low... waiting.
Dont get me wrong... I am appreciating an extra night or two in my own scrumptous bed, with it's clean-fabric-softened-sheets, and my snuggle buddy ... as opposed to crispy sheets and snuggling with a pillow. This isnt so bad. The anticipation just gets to me now and again. I like to know what to plan for ~ but, this is the wrong business for that nonsense :)

I have been thinking of ways to reward myself for quitting smoking. I know quitting in and of itself is a reward ... but, C'MON - I want a guilty pleasure reward... something that wont add to an expanding ass (ben and jerry's is out), or more wrinkles ( veg'n by the pool or in a tanning bed is out)
I want something that will help me to feel as beautiful on the outside as I am feeling on the inside... A new lipstick? A facial? A makeover?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is going to take some pondering :)

1 Month SMOKE FREE!!!!

I haven't written much lately ~ that's because I have been enjoying my ten days off from flying :)
I hit the one month mark yesterday!!!! yeah!!!! I am sooooo thrilled to be a quitter! Yesterday, I went with some friends to an outdoor festival down at Venice Beach. It was a great day ~ I LOVE VENICE ... I could really see myself living there someday soon. There is such a hippie-layed-back-vibe that I totally dig.
I did notice quite a few smokers (it was an outside festival with beer ... of course smoking was involved). But, I didn't feel the least bit compelled or tempted in any way.
I have been free of Chantx now for over a week. I feel great! I can safely say that I will smoke NO MORE!
From here, it is a mental choice. My body no longer craves it ~ (Im sure a few cravings will pop up every now and then) But, for the most part I can say that I feel this is going to be the quit that lasts a lifetime... YipEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Well... I am officially "on-call" ~
Hopefully, my next entry will come to you from somewhere wonderful
xo