Day 26

Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE the Beatles.... Tonight I went to see ACROSS THE UNIVERSE ~ and it did not disappoint. In my opinion, it wasn't a BRILLIANT film ... but, the music was done really well... it had great acting (Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess(Im in love), and cool visual effects. ... It was a love story and it made me cry ~ it was a good night :)
Not to mention that today was my first day with NO CHANTIX. I have been tapering down over the last couple of weeks, and I have to admit that I've noticed I AM thinking about smoking a little more. It's nothing strong enough that I cant beat... but, the thought is more present than it has been while on Chantix. So... we'll see. From here on out ~ it's all me!!!!!
<3

3 Weeks!!!!

Wow... Today is actually my 23rd day with no smoking! I made it through an entire rotation of traveling all over the US and across the ocean a few times as well! I couldn't be happier to be back in LA though. The weather is PERFECT!
Because I didn't plan for such a long rotation this month, I didnt prepare by purchasing my next Rx of Chantix. I would have ran out last week... so instead of stopping suddenly, I decided to begin tapering off. I found myself forgetting to take the medication all together. But, now that I am home, I will slip into more of a routine ~ and I am down to 1/2 tab in the morning. I have had no cravings while tapering off. I have about 7 pills left (two weeks of 1/2 per day) But, I am not sure I will continue taking it regularly after this week. Maybe I'll save a few pills in case the cravings start.
I find myself forgetting that I was ever a smoker. The memory is fading. Once in a while it will creep in ~
but, all together, I feel CURED! :) haha

Day 17

By the end of today, I will have spared myself 170 cigarettes... unbelievable!
I am still on the road ~ my trip to Milan turned out to be a quick turn around :( We dropped the passengers and repositioned to Luton, England. Here is how my day/night/morning went...

8:30pm Prepare plane for 10pm departure
10:00pm Depart for Boston
11:00pm Arrive Boston
12:30pm Depart for Milan
Fly for 7 and 1/2 hours (Silly me, I thought the soccer team would be exhausted after their game against Mexico ... perhaps they'd sleep a little on the way over ~ not a chance. 7 1/2 hours serving dinner and drinks NON STOP in heels... honestly, I did not sit or rest for a single minute!) Complete f@#$ing torture... torture with a nice view... but, torture nonetheless.
2:00pm Arrive Milan
4:00pm Arrive England

Holy crap! Upon arrival in England, we got word that we would be flying out the following morning and that we should restock the plane to be ready for passengers by 11:00am. You've got to be kidding right? Is this humane treatment? Not sure...
So... after about a 16 hour duty day, my AWESOME pilots (who helped me beyond their call of duty) and I tracked our tired asses to a grocery store. Tired doesn't even begin to describe how we were feeling. I worked for 16 hours without eating or resting. I had moved beyond tired, beyond exhaustion, and into utter delirium.
Somehow we managed to find our way to a very tastey Thai Restaurant, where we ate, drank beer, and tried our best to conversate, but forming sentences was nearly impossible.
I got back to my room around 8:30pm and managed to stay awake for probably a half an hour. Then I slept, and slept, and slept. I slept without interruption until 2:00pm the following day! 17 hours?!?! WTF?!? Yeah... The human body can only endure so much before it collapses. And I collapsed. Thank God for small favors ~ our 11:00am trip moved to a 6:00pm departure!!!
So, a 7 hour flight back to Jersey from England landed us here around 9:00pm.
The good news? I fly out for Luton AGAIN this evening at 7:00pm. Woo-Hoo
I feel like a human ping-pong and I am oh- soooo -ready to be back in LA. 5 more days of this and then 10 off!
Whew! Believe me... after this day at work... a cigarette definitely crossed my mind. But, I made it through :)
xo

2 Weeks Smoke Free!!!!

I think I deserve a gold star! 2 weeks smoke free.... yeah!!! Feels GREAT!
Just wanted to briefly write... not much time and I wont have anytime tonight. I am flying out of Boston for Milan... taking 13 Brazilian Soccer players ~ Here's one of them



Life could be worse ;)


Ciao!

Day 13

I am pretty much too sleepy to write. This rotation has been a ping-pong of flying all over the states. I've done five round trips in five days... today I am resting in Jersey ~ thank God. I really wanted to go into NYC. But, for a few reasons I decided not to. First, It's been POURING rain all day (dont like walking in the rain, particularly). Second, it's the anniversary of 9/11 (more people than usual crowding the city). And last, I am BEAT. just got back to the room after running some errands for the aircraft that I have been on all week, and I can hardly keep my eyes open.
So, before I hit the sheets, just wanted to write a quick celebratory blog on making it through yet another evening out for drinks with the boys... and keeping nicotine free. I think I have finally gotten it through my brain that I am no longer a smoker. I have accepted that I am done...so, it's getting easier to resist the barely there temptation upon seeing them light up!
Yeah for me!
Time for a lil siesta!

Day 10

I survived an evening out on the town with two pretty cool pilots that I fly with now and again. Had a tastey dinner (capellini with homemade meatballs) at this really tiny, family owned restaurant here in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey called A Fresh Affair. The food was amazing. The price...unbeatable. The Chef came out after and BS'ed with us... it was all around a great night. Mix in a few glasses of wine and next to zero sleep last night... and I am MORE than ready for beddy bye.
Upon returning to my home sweet hotel... another pilot whom I will fly with tomorrow, arrived. After a couple more drinks the boys all decided to go out for a smoke. I didnt want to sit in the bar alone with my wine ... so I joined them outside. These are the guys that I normally drink and smoke with while on the road, and I haven't seen them since quitting... so, it was a little strange to sit among them and not smoke. I have to say... I inhaled the second hand smoke and at one point, secretly wished I could take it in via osmosis, or something. But, I got through it. We sat outside for a while. They had a couple of smokes. I refrained. Believe me... I could've easily lit up. I really thought about it. Smoking has such comraderie appeal. But, I dont want to go back to that terrible habit... and 10 day is F'N gooooooooood!!!! I am really proud of myself. And Im not going to undo that.
Nt Nt... tomorow I will be coming at you from That City By The Bay.... My favorite :)

Day 9

Well... Here I am ~ yet, again in Jersey. I did leave Jersey today ... went to Atlanta, Georgia and back. Tomorrow...Bedford, MA and back. This is the first time I have ever flown so many domestic flights. Usually I am all over the globe. It's kinda nice, in a way... but, not as exciting. At least the flights are short... 14 hour flights to Japan are real killers ;)
Anyhow, today was a pretty good day ~ started out a little shakey (turned off alarm and only woke to pilot knocking on my door) That's never happened before. Chantix makes me soooo sleepy! No harm done though ~ we were only supposed to meet for breakfast, nevertheless, it was a shitty way to start the day.
The flight was easy. Clients were nice. All was good until I got back into Jersy. Then, the calls started coming in about my next two flights for the weekend and the demanding catering orders...yadda, yadda, yadda. What Im getting at is ~ I wanted a smoke really f*&#ing bad. By far the strongest craving I've had thus far.
Well ~ I got through it... and awarded myself with a glass of wine. Usually this would go hand in hand with a marlboro light ~ but, this is the new Lisa. I can relax without inhaling toxins into my lungs, dammit!

Day 8

Approaching the end of day 8. Today, I woke up somewhat later than usual...felt good! Anyway, missed breakfast here at the hotel... and I didn't want to risk becoming nauseated ~ so, instead of popping my Chantix on an empty stomach, I headed for the gym... By the time I finished my workout, showered up, and got to where I knew healthy food would be here in Jersey... it was after 3pm and I didn't want to take my morning dose that late since the evening dose would be approaching...so, I decided ~ inadvertently ~ to just do without the am dose. ( If that's not a run-on sentence...)
Needless to say, I felt fine all day. No urges stronger than any other day... no urges at all, really. Thoughts, but not urges. So... that's pretty much it.
I fly out tomorow morning to Atlanta, dropping off a client, and then heading right back to my home sweet hotel in Jersey. So far, this rotation is pretty uneventful, in comparison...but, Im not complaining!
Buh-bye

Day 7.. Yippee ~ 1 Week Smoke Free!!

I haven't gotten called out for a flight, which has afforded me some quality time in good 'ol Teterboro, New Jersey. It's actually a welcomed relief. I have a REALLY comfy bed, powerful air conditioning, a decent work-out room, a swimming pool, and premium channels in my room. The Hilton, Hasbrouk Heights isn't such a terrible home away from home. We are actually here ALOT... we even have a storage room at the little airport we fly into. Since I didn't fly today, I was asked (let me re-phrase...my supervisor doesn't ask...she tells)/ told to restock the room. So after 5 hours of inventory and shopping and restocking, I am ready for bed and a movie...Let's just hope I dont get called out in the middle of the night!
But I had to write, because today is a WEEK! I am sooo happy that I've come this far. It feels great!
~ Sweet Dreams ~

Day 6

Well... I made it through day 5 ~ and what a test that turned out to be.
I was set to fly out of Los Angeles on Sunday night at 11:30pm. I arrived at the aircraft at around 11pm and was prepared and ready to go before our departure time. Well... 11:30 came and went with no sign of the client. 12:30, 1;30, ETC... The client did not arrive until 5:00am. At which point, I was completely beside myself with exhaustion. Not to mention, during this waiting around time... The ex-boyfriend begins text messaging me. This is the guy ~ who two and a half years ago, completely broke my heart ... leaving me to start up the nasty habit of smoking again, in addition to quitting my job and moving 300 miles away from him and our house. TWO AND A HALF YEARS! Seriously? He tells me he wants to see me... he may show up on my doorstep, he has changed... etc, etc, etc. WTF?!
Suprisingly, all of that... the random act of stupidity by my overly-inflated-ego-maniac of an ex-boyfriend...didn't make me want to smoke. I felt pretty good actually. Confident in knowing that I have truly moved on. I have created a pretty good life for myself and I would never consider changing any of that. Not that he's asking ~ but, why would he want to see me after all this time?! And more importantly, what is he THINKING? That I've been sitting in wait, pining for him these last two years? It felt so damn good to know that I've moved on. That he doesn't affect me anymore... AT ALL...not even enough to want a smoke! :) That's huge!
Sooo... cut to Las Vegas. We arrived at our hotel room at about 6:30am and I tried and tried and tried to get some sleep. I was beyond tired. But, my phone was ringing off the hook and when that finally stopped...the hotel's fire alarm went off for about ten minutes. I ended up getting up and going down for toast and coffee, then I headed for the pool.
I spent about 4 hours by the pool, drinking pina colada's while literally surrounded by smokers. The thought crossed my mind that if I really wanted to, I could smoke. Who would know? I was alone, at Hooters Hotel/Casino (for chrissakes), drinking pina coladas poolside. NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW! I looked at the guys pack who was lounging next to me and I seriously thought about it...but, I decided that I didn't REALLY want one. I surveyed the pool area and noticed how tacky all of the smoking girls looked (and not delightfully tacky ;) and I just decided that I didn't need it! Enough damage was being done to my skin simply by being poolside in 104 degree heat!
Anyway... I flew out of vegas on a redeye flight last night and I am now in Jersey... waiting for the jet to come in from Italy. Not sure what tomorrow brings ~ but, today brought SMOKE FREE DAY NUMBER 6!!! Woo-Hoo!
xo

Day 4

Sunday... Smoke-free day 4!!!! Yeah! Nothing too uneventful today. No real cravings ~ until I got the call from dispatch that I have to fly out tonight at 11:30pm. Bummer :( Usually I get a couple of days on call before I have to go... not so this time around.
Also, everytime I gear up for a flight... I smoke ALOT. There is a certain amount of anxiety and anticipation before a flight and I tend to deal with it by inhaling as many smokey treats as possible. So, that's changed... will not be turning to that small comfort. I have to remember that it is not really a comfort at all and in turning to it I would only be doing myself a disservice. I just have to remind myself to breathe through the craving. Nothing is worth turning back on the four days Ive been free of nicotine!
Ok... with that being said.... WTF is going on with the weather in LA? It is 9:30pm and I am sitting in my apartment with sweat literally dripping from me. I have beads of it in places I wont discuss. It's absolute torture. I am so cranky. (Makes me wanna smoke for solace). Not really... I DONT WANT TO SMOKE DAMMIT!
Well... I must get ready for my flight. Tonight im flying into Vegas ~ easy 45minute flight ~ then possibly stay the night or fly onto Venice, Italy....
Ciao!

Day 3

Today I made it through my third day whout smoking... but, even more than that ~ I actually got thru a girls night out last night without lighting up! I had 3 glasses of wine (pretty buzzed) and my friends smoked... and I stayed clear! YEAH! I think that was the biggest test of all. And I did it!

I actually came really close to backing out of going, because I thought it may be too soon and I would cave into the urges that I was so certain would over take me. I even found myself rationalizing that if I DID wind up slipping...it would be ok, because it's not as though I would go back to smoking ... addiction is a crazy thing.

But I recieved some good advice and I decided to go out ~ face my demons, remind myself that I was CHOOSING not to smoke, and that smoking is not something that is being taken away from me...it's something that I am glad to see gone and I dont want anymore.
Thanks baby...

Sooo... it's Saturday night and I am exhausted ~ it's WAY past my CHANTIX bedtime. I really think I may only do the meds for four weeks. I dont know. I guess I will decide when it is time to refill my Rx. I just dont like being on the meds. I am tired (could be my body adjusting to no nicotine too, though) and I am REALLY bloated ... my tummy is constantly full. I dont like that. Plus, I go back on call tomorrow night at midnight. The crazy schedule that my job forces me to keep is going to be rough when I feel this sleepy.
nt nt
Lis