I cannot believe that it has been 14 weeks since I last smoked! My struggle still continues to come and go. I cant say that I CRAVE smoking, as I once did, however... I still think about it. In fact, on occasion (recently) I have thought about it more and more... thoughts like "just one wouldn't hurt", "who would know if I slipped... Im in Iceland for God's sake", etc.. etc..
Why after 14 weeks do I still find myself rationalizing smoking? There is NO good to come from having a smoke. NONE. Even if it would magically allow me to shed the 5 or so pounds that Ive gained... It's NO good.
So, Ive thought about smoking a little more lately. I even dreamed I smoked last night. In my dream, I had found out that my boyfriend was unfaithful... and my mom (of all people) gave me a cigarette to calm me. So bizarre.
Because of my recent thoughts, I think it's time to remind myself why I quit in the first place and what it has done for me ~
What Ive lost by quitting smoking:
1. That NASTY taste in my mouth
2. The stale smell of smoke in my hair and clothes
3. The wheeze in my lungs while running, biking, or having sex (a real turn on, Im sure)
4. Yellow fingernails
5. Sallow skin
6. A balcony cluttered with ashtrays, cigarette butts and empty Marlboro boxes
7. A car that REEKS of stale smoke
8. The anxious feeling that followed me everywhere that smoking was not allowed
9. Looking like a crackhead searching for their pipe while trying to find a place to light up in airports, restaurants, etc...
What Ive gained by quitting smoking
1. 5 or so pounds
2. Whiter teeth with fresher breath
3. Endurance while running, biking, and YES... in the sack ;)
4. A better singing voice (at least that's what I tell myself while belting out the Dixie Chicks alone in my car)
5. Healthier looking skin
6. The ability to make it through a dinner with friends without taking a smoke break between courses
7. A feeling of accomplishment and pride
8. Probably 15 years :)
2 comments:
Lisa, you are awesome! I loved reading that post because it pretty much describes much of my experience, too. It's still not always easy, and I need to take a moment to remind myself sometimes what I know is the truth and that this is a wonderful thing. I love your sense of humor and that you are still going strong and still have such a cool job. You go girl!
I'm like Maggie, I engoyed reading your post because it hit home...I still think about smoking but I just keep reminding myself why I don't.
Keep it up, you're doing great!
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